Vanity & Sin

Happy August!

I can't believe it's freaking August! That means birthdays, christmas, and shopping for FALL. I love it! My favorite season is coming and quick...

As for new events in my life, I had a pretty decent weekend - no fighting, got to spend money I shouldn't have and I talked to my MOM. Yes, I am a "Mommy's Girl" and just recently realized a "Daddy's Girl" too... But I am planning a long weekend with my Mommy in San Francisco here in 2 weeks and have never been more stoked. As always she is supportive and wants the wonderful world of daisies and sunshine for me... too bad the harsh reality is that I have already made up my mind. I would rather be alone than even risk my future with someone who wouldn't know respect and decency if it slapped him in the face... I also look forward to sharing this news with her. I guess I have always been pretty decisive and she really wants me to think things through, but do I need to feel another bruise on my skin, or in my heart to realize this is not normal? And knowing my own mother's past, I don't see how she could disagree with me. And I really don't care if she does.

I guess I love with all my heart, and despise with all my heart too. It's one or the other with me, there isn't any in between... has there ever been?