Vanity & Sin

The Future

It's awful never knowing what the future will bring. Even though it is a fact of life, I still want to know. So I can only hope for the best...

My brother is supposed to be deployed for Iraq in January...No thanks to our government feeling it necessary to put its foot into every country on this planet.. but that is what he has committed to and I can only pray for the best.

'The Warden' is a sad puppy when it comes to not being with me, and now he wants to do counseling. Should I? I told him I don't even care enough to do it, but I am thinking I should so that when D-Day comes, I am better prepared in court to say we 'tried'. I don't want to prolong this though...so should I pack up and leave now? He doesn't see that I am not trying to save our marriage and that I want out...I need him to consent, so that is my newest project. It's too bad that he loves me so.. Hate sounding cruel and unfeeling, but I don't feel anything anymore.. The love we had is dead - the love I had for him, is dead... I don't look forward to a lifetime with someone I don't love anymore..so we shall see what happens.

I wish this wasn't so complicated! But when has my life ever been simple?