Vanity & Sin

July Already?

Holy cow.. it's already July! I have come quite a long way in the past 11 months.. and pretty darn happy about it too. Let's see, what's new?

First, I started school at the end of last month. I have finally decided to take the epic voyage and return to my education. I am currently working on my B.A. for Business Management and then onto my Master's for HR Management. If that is still my goal once I am done with school. I am liking it so far, but it's only the beginning. We shall see how it goes!

Second, I have come to terms on a lot of different things in my life. Never one to get much out of anyone but myself, I have put behind me my cries for help and shoved myself face first into the muck of my life. It is rather rewarding to accept the things I cannot change and take care of me, myself and I. I have had a lot of backs turn on me since my husband died. I even feel this way with my family. They were once so eager to help when I had marital problems, but he's been gone almost a year - and I am back to their rebellious, black sheep daughter mode, where they let me work out my messes alone. Which is fine by me, I didn't want their help anyway. I had hoped that they would be supportive of my return to school - got no response. They could care less stuck in their own world. So I support me, my friends support me - and that's about all I've got. I still love my family, but they are no different than they ever will be. Their independent daughter has turned her back again too, to move forward with her life whether they like it or not. To be honest, I think if I was in a deep depression - starving and wanting to die because my husband did..they would have my back and make sure I am okay. But my strong desire to live and be strong has cast me aside... I kind of like it this way, I still love proving people wrong.

I am plotting a mini-vacation for August, and versus going to see my family - I am going to California, alone and I cannot wait! It will be so wonderful and beautiful to see the ocean again and just relax and enjoy 'Bea Time'. That is what I need the most. Me.

I'll update more soon along with some new pics of fun in the Arizona sun!!

Satellite

My love is like footsteps in the snow, baby,
I follow you everywhere you go, baby.
The pain as light has come to wake you
But you will never realize
That I inspire the dreams that guide you baby.

I follow the winds that bring the cold, baby,
I light a fire in your soul, baby.
The lightest touch of feathers falling
My love may be invisible
But I inspire the dreams that guide you, baby

You're a half a world away
But in my mind I whisper every single word you say.
And before you sleep at night
You pray to me, your lucky star, your singing satellite.

Your singing satellite

You say a prayer
You say a prayer

You're a half a world away
But in my mind I whisper every single word you say.
And before you sleep at night
You pray to me, your lucky star, your singing satellite.

I follow the winds that bring the cold, baby,
I light a fire in your soul, baby.
The lightest touch of feathers falling
My love may be invisible
But I inspire the dreams that guide you, baby

You're a half a world away
But in my mind I whisper every single word you say.
And before you sleep at night
You pray to me, your lucky star, your singing satellite.

By: Oceanlab