Vanity & Sin

Coming to an end...

As 2006 is coming to a close, I have taken some time to reflect on this past year - and eventful it has been. I don't think I have ever been more thankful in my life for my friends and family who have consistently had my back, been supportive and loved me for me. It has been a colorful year, filled with ups and downs - tears and laughter, but worth every day that I survived through it.

I have realized a lot of things (as I love to learn from anything possible), about myself, people, 'friends', love, and even hate. I have definitely learned and trust that everything in our lives derives from a simple choice that we each make at a certain point in our lives. Of course, our lives are made up of a lot of choices, but there is one major decision that we make for ourselves and only ourselves that creates who we are today. I see others around me still trying to find themselves, and conning themselves into believing that 'that' is who they are and are going to be. What choice has led them there? I see the looks in their eyes of almost despair because I am content with myself, my life, my past and my future. I am not broken anymore, and sometimes I feel as though it could be costing me friendships. In the end, it doesn't really matter. I will still love them for who they are no matter what, I just hope that they find what they are really looking for, versus filling in the gaps with meaningless relationships, partying and random acts of...company.

Once upon a time I made a choice. I was 21 years old, lost but not yet a believer. I could stay in one place and know exactly where I would be in 5 years, or pick up and go and find a better (and safer) future. My friends respected my decision ~ and that meant the most. I decided to get my shit together! As simple as that. And it was the best decision I have ever made in my life! The one decision I ever made that has made me every inch the person I am today.