Vanity & Sin

Life as we know it..

I have been extremely awful about keeping this blog up to date ~ Life has been just that wacky for me. I have a tendency to get mentally 'flaky' when there is a lot going on in my mind! While this blog is supposed to help that, I have been unlucky to find the time to ever update this even when I need to the most. I am pretty much in the same place I was as before - not much has changed and I doubt that it will until later this year when the reality of my life will begin to crumble again when I face my fears and hope for the best for my family.

My 'little' brother is going to Iraq. My best friend, my blood, my life ~ is going overseas to Baghdad to fight for a cause that I do not believe in and I have never felt more emotions in my life! His daughter will be 1 yrs old this month, and he is leaving in August for a minimum of 18 months, for a President who doesn't even know what we are fighting for. I believe in my brother, but I don't believe in the system. I don't really think he does either, but I can only pray for the best. I just feel like my heart is breaking all over again...

Thanks to his patriotism and committment to our country, my mother is extremely depressed. My dad is barely speaking to anyone - they seem to be in some sort of fog while dealing with this. You must understand, we are not a military family, nor have we ever been advocates for the United States government. We are not anarchists, but we just don't believe in the system that has been forced upon us. Nor do we think it is fair for our son's and daughter's to be dying in a war that has been going on far too long...

And the funny thing about all this ~ I cannot stop thinking about my husband. I keep dreaming about him and he has truly been my only comfort in dealing with this. But I cannot lose my brother too. A dead person has been my only shoulder to lean on and I have never been more thankful for my dreams...