Vanity & Sin

Cranky...

I feel as though I could burst from the inside out in frustration. How do parents do this? How do they separate? How do they walk away? How do they talk to a lawyer with a straight face without letting loose the raging set of emotions boiling inside? I'm literally so frustrated that I am inanimate. I know what I have to do and it feels like I have a cement body cast on.. and every moment I feel for one second, I just want to cry. I thought burying a husband was hard, but fighting for a good life for my own child is the worst thing I've ever had to do.

I hate this. I know I'll get over it. But it's time to go. It just breaks my heart to even be considering these steps, but he doesn't deserve any better and he sure as hell doesn't deserve me putting up with his immature antics. Document, document, documenting, documented, freaking depressing.

And then the other bright side of my life? It's wonderful and at times almost depressing too. The things we never see coming arrive at the strangest times and are just as hard as the challenges we were already facing. My heart is a mess. So I will stay in hibernation mode for now..I can't deal with much else anymore. I'm finally maxing out...